This is the case here with Deathspank, for the reasons that you dislike the game are the reasons why i like it. The thing that I agree with is the long conversations with back story when asked to do side quest. But I do enjoy the over the top conversation and exaggerated voices.

For me and another friend, we both really enjoyed the game and we couldn’t praise it enough for what it is.

But this is easily solved for people on the fence. There’s a demo:) It was based on the demo alone that I decided to get the game. It was just enough of the game to show you what you have to do and yet enough to tease you to either buy the game and keep going or go,”Nope, not for me” and end it there.

Play the demo, decide for yourselves.

Most of my problems stemmed from the fact that it’s a loot game where you always find the best loot. As in, the best stuff is either sold or given as a quest reward. The combat itself isn’t strong enough to carry the game, and without the incentive to co-op with a few buds and discover new items it’s just a pretty mundane wander and slash em up with a few (boring) puzzles thrown in for good measure.

Not woeful, but a pretty standard 6/10 for me.

Fan Edition ordered.

Who is this aimed at? Bell’s palsy sufferers?

I look forward to seeing people playing face training on the daily commute!

I read in the forums a response to what you said about reading novels. Someone said, why pick up reading if its going to be just as addictive has video games, are you doing it just because its more socially acceptable to read books 10 hrs a day. Well my response to that is, “its variety”. Doing different things to change up the day, it is enjoyable. Variety is the spice of life:)

I too had alot of things that I used to do. But family and work takes up alot of time. So the time I had I filled it with video games, until just recently when I too felt the need to get back to what I liked to do. That is join a club, play guitar, I animate and draw, read, cooking, gardening.

It comes out that I still play games, but just not has much has I used too. It usually works out to maybe 8-15 hrs a week. Its creating that balance that is difficult and hard to do. Sure it means that I don’t play every new game ( I still haven’t played bioshock2, God of war 3, Heavy rain, Mass Effect 2, Mod nation racers, the list goes on) but the games that I do play I play to the fullest.

I wish you the best of luck in your new endeavor and I’m sure we shall meet up again online someday.

Cheers

Yeouch. Pretty sure my own keyboard and mouse ran me no more than £10 for the pair.

And hey, it’s not like you need to sink so much time into it to get anything out of it – even played casually it’s a lot of fun. The problem is that improving your character is so damn addictive, coupled with the sense of achievement when offing some particularly brutal enemies. It’s really ‘carrot on a stick’ game design at its finest, since there’s always something dangling just out of reach that you really, really want.

Honestly, it’s a great game and a real breath of fresh air. I’d recommend it on that alone.

If they started to foreshadow upcoming events, or go into real depth about the Reaper threat, I’d class those as absolute necessary purchases. Currently, they tend to feel like enjoyable side stories with some excellent benefits that carry over into the main game – Kasumi’s episode in particular, since both the SMG and character herself are incredibly useful during missions.

Now all I need is a sniper rifle that can take out a small planet in one shot and I’ll be set!

There’s a lot of gamers who look at this and waddle away with their eyes bulging from their skulls in sheer outrage at what they’ve just seen – and I can’t blame them. Thing is though, I kind of enjoyed my run through the game. A seven’s about right, I think – if you can accept its failings, there’s some fun times to be had.

Not the kind of game I could really recommend anybody playing without a pretty big ‘bbbuuuuuutttt….’ tagged on behind it though.

As I said these Game of the Year things tend to leave me cold because the games in question tend to have no real standout candidates. Sure, they may have a collection of excellent games (which is often rare enough on it’s own – they’re practically always just the big name crowd), but usually none of them really stick so far out ahead of the others that there’s any point to calling it the better game.

Mass Effect 2′s a different story – every section of the game absolutely shines with incredible levels of care put towards even the smallest things. Hell, I wouldn’t even put forth some of the best games I’ve ever played as definitive Game of the Year titles because they’ve always something holding them back. Ninja Gaiden’s way too hard for casual and even some not-so-casual players, Shadow Hearts looked like complete ass and… well, most of them have something that could mar the experience on a mass market level.

Mass Effect 2 however? After a lot of thought, I can’t see any single thing wrong with it and there’s so much that it simply excels at – including all the places where it has to shine such as the characters, the story and the basic gameplay which anyone who’s ever enjoyed a third person shooter should be able to appreciate.

So yeah, it’s one of four games I’ve played in my twenty five years of gaming that I’d award a ten to, and I think more people would agree with that score than would for the other three. It really is just that damn good.

Out of the many things that sucked me into this title, possibly the most important one for me was the sense of continuance from the first game with the ability to import my character, their history and their previous choices into the sequel, giving me a real feeling of investment that no game has ever given me before.

I agree with what you wrote about game of the year, I personally find myself hard pressed to think of anything that has given or will give me an experience as evocative and engrossing as ME2 has given me since I began playing it.

Jay
Yeah, there’s so many of these thi-

Leon
Shot her in the back.

-ngs, and this is what I was thinking..

[genuine lol]

I too am a avid Street Fighter Fan, but I have the PS3 version. What system are you guys playing on?

The best online experiences are with people you know or other friendly gamers. Even if you are playing against each other and shooting one another in the face, its still a friendly experience.

Thanks pal for blowing up the building with me in it, well played, good kill!!:)

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…and with that discussion, Gamerdork expanded into a food and gardening website :)

Which platform did you get BC2 on?

In all, I’m not 100% convinced by the footage I’ve seen of this game, but at least the chick looks pretty hot.

…

… she’s a WHAT?

Even with something like FFXIII which performs better on the PS3 – it also saves me swapping over since my 360 gets the most playtime.

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With the dawning of a new day we can all crawl from the ashes and tell future generations that we survived the ApocalyPS3.

Interesting point about the masterpiece though, I’d be tempted to argue that films are just as, if not more so, liable for giving average or below par renditions of well known masterpieces.

http://www.giantbomb.com/ryans-inferno/17-2074/

The bigger disappointment, however, is that it sounds like EA have done another Godfather and given gaming a mediocre representation of a masterpiece from another medium. It hardly does our hobby any favours.

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This “guest” comes across has that guy, that no matter what story you tell about a certain subject, he always has a better story to trump it. “I went across street”-” well I went across town”- “I went to London” – “Well I’ve been to Japan and Brazil and tomorrow I’m flying to Russia and after that I’m going to the moon”

The gamerdork podcasters are very genuine and modest. This guy can’t toot his horn hard enough and seems to love any talk about what he is involved in.We have this and we have that. I mean you can talk about what you re doing without having it sound, “I’m better than you” attitude. The whole conversation with this guy just rubbed me the wrong way.

Its the same with the 1Up podcast and the David Ellis guy, man that guy loves himself way too much and he’s never wrong and wants everyone to know it. But I like Garnett and he seemed to balance out the Pompest that is David Ellis.I was sad to see him leave the show 1up. I can’t wait for him to start his own podcast.

I’ve never heard of Gamers with Jobs podcast, but apparently 10,000 people love them. After listening to this I will go give them a listen and see if the show feels like this one guy. I always enjoy being wrong about something and having this one interview to base a opinion of him seems a little unfair.

Still enjoyed your guys part of the show, always entertaining.

On the subject of playing downloaded games and in particular gamesroom, do we know how that works? You see until now your ‘arcade classics’ have been written to run directly on the 360 hardware. is it possible that gamesroom is introducing a software layer between the games and the console? Therefore new games released for gamesroom would be reliant on the software foundation staying the same, which is something that could be maintained between hardware releases meaning ahything you bought for gamesroom for the 360 would continue to be runnable on the [720] or whatever it ends up being called once they’ve written a new ‘gamesroom platform’ for that hardware?

I’m assuming a lot there and also giving Microsoft a massive benefit of doubt, but if that is what they have done it’s fantastic! Anyone know anyone as MS who would be able to find out that sort of thing?? I guess it would basically be a MAME for Microsoft systems. The fact that you can play the same arcade games on the PC would suggest that is is some kind of emulation wrapper though.

Of course in a super dooper ideal world it would be an external system that could then be written to run on all consoles and you could then play the same arcade games on which ever system you are on provided you’ve paid for the core software on that platform and own a licence for that particular arcade game.

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Too bad we can never get a online game on the go due to the difference in time. But also, recently my PS3 dieing, I now have to transfer all my data to the new one(which I don’t have yet). I tried everything known to man to fix it.

Due not being able to do a transfer via the Ethernet cable I have to do a via restore backup utility. From what I am told (via Sony/web/forums) I will lose some of my saved data on a few of my games due to copyright. One of those games being killzone 2 and SF4, plus a handfull of more.

Its bullocks to have certain save data stuck on my old DEAD PS3 due to copyright.

Going on 2 weeks with no PS3, I never realized how much I enjoyed the 15min-45 min-2 hrs I would play a night.

Thanks

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http://playstation.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/939

Got home, turned on the PS3 and it would turn on but that’s has far has I can get. It freezes, the game controllers arn’t recognized and it gives me a 800…. something something error.

Granted it is a launch 60 Gig version, so I guess its old??but my ps2 is sitting next to it and its a launch version as well and it works fine. I paid $800 for my PS3 and to have to die, its heart breaking!!

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The over the top moves that make it look like some Digimon or Pokemon battle or what ever is the latest trend these days.

The music that reminded me of the scene from Sonic the Hedgehog (the crappy version) where they spend 5 min building up a sexual relationship between a blue furry hedgehog and a girl on a grassy field.

For someone who doesn’t like anime or japenesse styled games I just can’t get past these things to enjoy the game.

I do on the other hand am enjoying Command and Conquer and would be up for some online co-op, that sounds like a blast.

Oh sorry, thought this was Giant Bomb…

At least Wand (and, indeed, Dildo Ball) had some potential for innuendo…

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Either way, as a fan of the first one and from what I’ve seen so far, I’m expecting great things.

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Never mind, only another 8 months until my contract comes to an end… :(

I’ve long held the belief that there should be a standard charter on basic game design principles that developers are required to stick too – things like not putting long, unskippable cutscenes after checkpoints which force to watch them over, and over and over and… I know devs are often proud of their finely crafted pieces of neo-modern cinematography, and I know they often want people to watch them due to the time and effort they’ve put in. But the ones that can’t be bothered to implement something that allows you to skip it if you’ve already seen it once, should be rounded and beaten with the biggest birch rod you can find until they’re red raw.

I’m all for a challenge but I think some developers often forget that they supposed to be providing entertainment and fun for your money, not making you feel like you deserve to be driven to the verge of a coronary.

Some DLC is a great way to improve/extend the gameplay while other DLC is just a new way to rake the consumer. Resident Evil 5 being one of the biggest culprits of this with the DLC already on the disc, “locked”.

But remember the old days when gamers were excited about unlocking those extra costumes/skins or finding that extra level, unlocking big head mode etc. Now most of this has gone, replaced with,”If you would like to have XXXX, give us $$$$”

But not all DLC is like this,guitar hero, how many songs can they put on one disc, new race tracks, new FPS maps.

Some DLC works and make sense. Other times you can easily see that the developer is trying to squeeze has much money has they can outta the gamer.

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Interesting views though, I can definately understand where your coming from in all honesty.

Unfortunately I doubt I will ever own this. With Luton Town being relegated to the BSP, there’s no reason for me to upgrade from 09 to this. At the rate we’re going as well, it doesn’t look likely that the Hatters will feature in 11 either. Oh well. I still need to get a lot of the trophies in 09 anyway.

Great review.

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The second one is a stripped version of the first game. Let me give some points that really Ekk me.

1. MUA 1- Each character got 4 different outfits with their own stats.
MUA 2- Each character gets 2 different outfits with no stats.

2. MUA 1 – Each character was given there own item slot.
MUA 2 – The entire team shares 3 items slots.

3. MUA 1 – Each character had 7-8 different powers to choose from.
MUA 2 – Each character gets 4 powers.(But they get buffers in place of the extra powers, which I like. But why take away the extra powers, I enjoy swapping out the different abilities)

4. MUA 1 – Each character got their own custom throw.
MUA 2 – All the characters have the same throw animations varied only by the tank characters which lift the enemies off the ground.

5. MUA 1 – The Ability display (HUD) is shown with a picture displaying what power you have mapped to what button. So the picture shown gives you some sort of indication of what the power is you choose.
MUA 2 – Depending if you have the PS3 or 360. The powers are displayed with x,square, triangle, circle, or A,B,X,Y. Making it difficult to know what power is on what button until you remember which is which.

This one could go either way, both are fine but I prefer what they did in MUA 1.

6. MUA 1 – Each character had their own Super Ability to clear the screen.
MUA 2 – The CEO of Vicarious Visions (you tube it to see yourself) is praising over 200 different combination’s, 278 to be exact, that you can do with the 24 characters. WRONG!!!!! There are only 138 combination’s. What he is referring too is the dependent upon who starts the fusion.

For example, if Iceman starts a fusion with Wolverine ,then that’s 1 Fusion. Then Wolverine starts a fusion with Iceman, that’s the same Fusion. There’s no different animation, theres no different power effect, its the same. Its like getting strawberry bubblegum flavor ice cream and then someone telling you, “would you like to try our new flavor, its bubblegum strawberry ice cream”.

Then to top it off, just like what you mentioned in your article. Once you see the tank rip the ground up and another character throw bombs into it. All the fused powers are just variations upon a set formula.

Over all, i was really disappointed with this game. I was and still am a big fan of the earlier games in this genre. This game just seemed a step back and then some.

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Five is the first Guitar Hero game since then that’s tempted me back, but it does sound very much like the franchise is very tired now and ready to be put to bed.

Gotta say, that’s a Scottish accent unlike any I’ve heard in my life.

It’s a weird game to assess in some ways. There’s definitely some good old fashioned fun to be had in it, but poor design choices are prevalent in so many areas of it that it can slightly hard to recommend as such. Maybe the sequel will iron out some of the flaws in Wet – in many cases, small tweaks would really improve the overall experience.

‘You wanna fight? Fight me!’

Nice impressions though; the final paragraph in particular mirrors my own thoughts on the game – good fun in small amounts.

If anyone is interested, there’s an interview with Frontier – the developers of Lost Winds: Winter of the Melodias up on my site – just click on my name.

That was cool.

Wished i’d have save it for work now lol, oh well.

Great review BTW…. made me want to play it again… so i did!

I’d love to see some DLC for this too. Have they totally ruled it out then KYUSS?

I was lucky in the fact that we had access for both business and public days so I managed to play the demos on the quieter business days and just observed the cosplayers and the general event atmosphere on the public ones.

We are so going to go again though, it’s been tentatively penciled in for (according to Gamesindustry.biz) Sept. 17th to the 19th since it also appears to be going back to a three day event for 2010.

He’s brilliant, Charlie Brooker, it’s just a shame I can’t watch his previous stuff on a format better than youtube. I read his books when i’m dropping my own personal ODSTs and they’re a right laugh

The sports mentioned are definitely the Wii’s strongest effort thus far, just I have my doubts whether they are better simulations than the current alternatives; Fight Night, Topspin, Rockstar’s Table Tennis. Even with the WMP, Resort’s own table tennis game seems to lack the depth of simulation the specific titles offer. The visual feedback you get on the TV screen just seems miles beyond the actual technical system working in the background.

I think there’s quite a strong argument that says that all those things you mention are in fact rather complex both to do well in real life and to simulate accurately. Nintendo’s simulation of these (particularly in Resort with WMP) is fairly extraordinary, to the point that no-one else has done any of them as well on other current gen systems. What’s even more remarkable is that Nintendo manages to make them accessible and fun while still being convincingly authentic.

That said, I know in the past few months I’ve dived into public games of Red Faction etc and people were thoroughly decent. I still think you have to steel yourself every time you jump in though.

But if you’re playing Xbox Live you should never forget the handy function to mute a player. That was a God send during some matches of CoD4!

Picture of all the instruments via Wikipedia: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/28/Beatlesinstruments.jpg/800px-Beatlesinstruments.jpg

That said, I genuinely find racist and homophobic abuse instantly intolerable, and so, rather then feeling like I can grief these people back I just want to get out of there as soon as possible and remind myself that there are also decent people in the world. And sadly that’s what puts me off about opening up comms with randoms.

As well us just general stupidity on the part of so many other gamers.

…ARG.

Anyway, looking forwards to seeing this diary develop. Excellent idea, exececuted very well indeed. I’m going to have to steal the concept at some point and use it myself.

Both give scores, and have the final score reflect the average, or if the average is impossible to work out without using fractions, have them agree if the higher or lower whole number is appropriate.

Me? I’d probably hand out a seven or eight. Ain’t that far into the career, some songs I like, others less so. Same as any music game. Closer to an eight, I’d think.

I can imagine these titles being tricky to review in that they are quite dependent on DLC of which mostly is unknown at the time of writing. Then there is the question of do you account those who absolutely detest the Beatles in the review? I guess it’s similar to all genres. Do we account those who detest football and refuse to give Fifa 10 a 10/10? Of course not, you simply get someone who knows and loves that type of game who is the intended audience of the title to review it. This seems to be what has happened here so job well done but this whole subject reminds me of my ‘Good review, bad review’ feature on joypod where I do 2 reviews. One for those that like the subject and one for those that hate it. To keep both camps happy. I might do this with Beatles Rockband.

I do wonder what ‘geek culture’ really means these days, I suspect you could be right and that there could well be a time where ‘geek’ is encompassed by those who favour older, non-digital medias and who actively don’t have an online presence (in other words they become like your great-grandparents, only without the preaching how they fought in the war for the likes of you!).

Never played EBA? Think I’ve lost my mind? I’ll show you. Oh yes. I’ll show you.

I also omit to mention that Lennon and Harrison’s guitar parts are amalgamated due to considerations regarding the existing engine and screen clarity.

The definition of ‘story’ is simply a string of occurring events – something that automatically takes place when we play games. Narrative however is usually the structure in which these events are told. So naturally a game narrative would be a story told through a game. Which unfortunately isn’t what happens most of the time ! They will often be told through cutscenes.

This is a problem for games – as that form of narrative often goes against the game’s own conventions. A good example can be found in RPGs. The game is usually strategical (in the case of Final Fantasy) with chess-like battlegrounds and listed abilities. Compare these game mechanics to the narrative – told through the use of cutscenes, extended and non-interactive dialogue progression and CGI. They are entirely separate, and almost opposites. Although both can be ‘good’ in so far as the game mechanics can be thoroughly enjoyable and the animated story extremely appealing – they are two completely opposed forms. Both of which compete against each other for the player’s attention.

If anyone is interested, http://www.digra.org/dl/db/05164.54179 is a decent article on the opposing dichotomy of games and traditional narrative. It’s solution is ridiculous mind you… so it’s only worth reading the first half of the paper.

In terms of DLC some of the pay stuff is just a bit ridiculous if you ask me. For instance in the Franchise mode (more on that later) you can, and in fact must, scout college players during the season. And it takes some weeks to fully scout a player’s attributes. But with “Accelerator” you can do it instantly. I’m not really sure who would do that but they can feel free to part with their cash – after all if it puts more money in EA’s pockets then I won’t have to! But, despite my Twitter rant when it came out, and to be fair from an OPM employee on Twitter too, the Online Franchise mode is not paid for content. Turns out EA *ahem* forgot to include a code in the box to open it up. The cynic in me says that since there was, as far as I know, no open admission of it that they had hoped people may buy it in the meantime. However, in the interest of fairness if you contacted them it was sorted out pretty quickly.

Talking of the Online Franchise I’ve not tried it out yet but the one thing I know is missing is the salary cap. A big omission I would suggest.

So back to the rest of the game. I’m not sure you have to press anything to catch the ball – well unless you control the receiver and I’ll admit I tend not to unless he has no hope of it.

Like Ratso I started way back when and have played a good few since including last year’s. So what’s improved? Well overall the game play I would say. Last year’s was a bit of a let down really. The game play was quick – and it’s not that I’m getting old. Well I don’t think it is! And the defensive backs all seemed to have eyes in the back of their heads. Who could see through helmets! A neat trick! And as for trying to get any sort of run going outside….well I couldn’t.

All that has changed this year. The pace just feels that bit slower – but more realistic. Your back takes the ball, and you get time to watch spaces open up in front of you before trying to turn on the gas and explode through it. That feels better than last year, and it feels right.

The play selection screen has had an “upgrade” as well. Not for me this one – from memory the old screen showed six to choose from at a time and you could flick between more. Now it’s 3. I don’t find it as easy to find my way around with that. And the three buttons used to choose each don’t make sense to me. Why use X, O and triangle, rather than square, X and O – at least they run across the way as the plays do on the screen! But that really is a minor niggle I guess.

I can’t agree on the script for commentary. It’s been in Madden for years. And the pace of the game allows it to fit in between plays. But….and it’s a big but the more I play of it….it is so way off the mark sometimes. Last week I had the following….”It took a gang of them to bring him down.” The reality? A running back on his own tap tackled by a lone chasing defensive back. Not really a gang nor dragged down. And of course the more you play it the more you here the same things – but that’s the same with any game.

What am I loving? The addition of the Extra Point halftime and between game show. The full Franchise Mode too – although I’m not thinking there’s much new there.

So will the aficionado like this game? I think the answer has to be yes. Purely in gameplay it’s miles ahead of last year. And how many changes can you make to a franchise that’s been around this long? It ain’t broke don’t fix it after all.

What would I like to see in it? One thing I have wanted in it for sometime, and certainly since the Create a superstar mode appeared is an in helmet version of the game. Imagine standing in the pocket, looking through your helmet, over the O-line and trying to pick up a receiver on a crossing route. Or trying to break through the coverage waiting for the ball coming over your shoulder. That would be something. Even if it did induce motion sickness and bruised ribs!

i played it a lot until i discovered the NHL franchise, sadly i never went back to madden after that.

NHL FTW!

As far as Natal goes… I’m definitely in the ‘wait and see and be a pessimistic, fun destroying grouchball while you do so’ category. Hell, voice recognition software never picks up my accent so I doubt there’s much point in my getting excited over it.

Funnily enough Takeshi Miike directed the live action movie version of Ryu ga Gotoku.

I find the Milo project of particular interest. Molyneux wasn’t able to produce any sort of complex interaction or emotion system in his two fable games, which really makes me wonder – if Natal is just swapping out the presses of buttons and mapping it to generic face movements (you laugh, you laugh), then how will it be any different? If his new game does manage to create some meaningful level of complex interaction with a virtual character, it’s obvious the real hero will be the programmed systems that run behind the curtains.

I hate a good game coming to an end. In games that track your percentage progress towards the end, I would resolutely refuse to look at the figure.

Actually, I would argue here that the trash respawn in certain dungeons is a pain in the ass. But that’s about all I can think of right now. Even the drop chance is something you know about beforehand and largely have to accept as something that might not happen.

Still, £10. Could just about buy Trials HD or Marvel vs Capcom 2 for that.

Killzone 2 will also be available for just £19.99 from the 4th Sept, meaning you can pick up the whole package for £29.98 which seem pretty reasonable to me.

If you want some real laughs at a rotten game, go and rent the aforementioned Shellshock 2. It features a helicopter pilot who crashes his helicopter… whilst it’s stationary!

Buying it tomorrow.

I think this game’s been successful enough to warrant a sequel and I know I’ll be all over it when it happens.

Fun Fact – I was the first person in a certain store in Shinjuku to buy Ouendan 2. It came out during one of my holidays, May 2007 if I’m not mistaken.

God, what a magical series of games. Samurai Blue, Go My Way, Julia Ni Shoushin, Sekai wa Sore wo Ai to Yobundaze, Glorious Sky… not to mention stuff like Linda Linda, Ready Steady Go, Taisetsu na mono, Over the Distance…

Gnn! Gnn! Happy memories!

That, and Jumping Jack Flash is arguably the greatest ending to a game ever. Off the top of my head, only RSG and the original Sonic Adventure’s Super Sonic segment come close.

Sure I could think a few more epic endings up, but right now? Those are legendary.

Also, try going back to the jeep at the start of the game when you get the chance and press the ‘use’ button for a little something extra.

Try playing SH to brass band music or something and see if it still works..!

Spoliers:
You could kill him by activating shields btw.

As for Live…I dabbled in the beta a while ago and got completely thrashed, but it’s still an impressive technical achievement.

Games have had the power to shit me right up ever since I first experienced this moment in 1985:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8opv5u9nf0

Sure, it doesn’t look like much now but it was totally unexpected and I literally leapt from my chair.
My mum thought I’d suffered and electric shock or something.

i had some issues with it…

a couple of times when i launched it, it seemed like the controls were borked, as it would just keep running left without me pressing anything.

I am playing on a macbook with a track pad so it could be that.

after i finally got it running i loved it.
i’m not sure about the 10 min assessment period but i guess it gave me some time to get re-acquainted with the feel and pace of Q3A.

i am tempted to get a half decent mouse to play this and battlefield heroes.

hit me up if you want a game xib, KYUSS123.

It’s be just like my childhood all over again!

And idiwa’s definitely onto something. I don’t think they’d be quite that blatant, but it wouldn’t be entirely surprising if companies began offering incentives to purchase premium avatar content off the marketplace.

Ryu Hayabusa costume? Sold!

Ooh a Lightsaber….. NEVER!!!!!!!!

You guys could surely co-author a book on the history of gaming.

I guess it will make more sense to have these marketplace items when Joy Ride comes out since people will be able to see more of your avatar. Personally the avatars do nothing for me, I think they all tend to look way too similar to each other (not to mention a pretty blantant rip off of the Wii avatars) So for the moment I’d rather keep with the wee gamertag pics for my own tag.

Maybe it would be cool if a beat ‘em up came out for the avatars so you could kick seven shades of shit out of each other as you wait for lobbies to update in a Modern Warfare 2 rank match. OK that’s a bit too far fetched for the moment. I wonder how long it will be before publishers and developers start throwing avatar achievemtns at us; Kit your wanky avater out in GOW3 TALOS IV armour and get 5 (yeah F I V E !!) gamerpoints wooooo! I guess this sort of trashy money generating dlc not far removed from the bucket loads of pointless apps for the iPhone that every man and his dog want to download. Seconds of amusement guaranteed! All those 49p’s must be really starting to mount up by now at iTune towers.

Actually it would be pretty cool if your Avatar could reflect your current or last gaming experience. Beat up to hell as you get your ass handed to you again in Ninja Gaiden II or a big shit eating grin as you complete Bioshock 2 on superdupa uber hard level at 2am on a Friday night. Just an idea. :D

I think the next breakthrough in Avatar technology would be a conscience: imagine if you signed in and, instead of waving cheerily at you, your bug-eyed stick man was sulking in a corner of the dashboard because everyone else has expensive clothing on and s/he’s still dressed up in the rags you get for free. Browsing your friends list, each Avatar with purchased clothes and accessories would point at your lousy cheapskate make-believe doppelganger and laugh.

In short, it’d be like a next-gen Tamagotchi, but worse. (Then again, Peter Molyneux is already working on one of those…)

I’ve a pretty good idea, mind.

Now I’m going to go and polish up my writing skills – must stop signing up writers more talented than myself.
:D

So if there are more of ye ole Canucks out there, speak up. It be nice to have a cross Atlantic match!

Only thing I would say is that it could be as open to abuse as normal xbox live chat is (as you say) – persistent offenders i.e noisy brats will find ways to annoy you that don’t involve talking, and I find people not taking the game seriously far worse than people talking too much.

But then I am used to muting abuse, oh those heady early days of xbox live when logging a game as a lass was like waving a red flag to a bull.

Great article love. ;)

Guess nothing else to do now but put myself in an airlock.

There is a problem with the multiplayer maps though, everyone (with or without maps) can enter a lobby with a new map. Therefore new maps are almost always skipped, meaning you hardly get to play them.

I see they’ve contextualised kills: revenge, breaking a kill streak etc. I have mixed feelings on this as I worry that it will make the game more ‘arcadey’. On the other hand kills will have alot more flavour. Breaking a far superior player’s killing streak is always a happy moment.

What really concerns me is the futuristic element. I do not like the look of the radar on that gun. I knew that the game was going to include equipment from the not-too-distant future, but that radar looks a little too Halo for me.

On the whole I got a rush from this preview though. Hardcore mode should allay many of my fears. I want more than one map pack this time around though.

:-I

After dealing with the oldman, Alex figured the rest of the day would be better spent in bed.

But not even in bed would he find rest, for his continued haunting by “THE GHOST WITH ONE BLACK EYE” would keep him up most of the night.

-can we see where this is going.-

Finally Alex just couldn’t take it anymore and tells the ghost to shut his trap or he’ll have 2 black eyes.

ANNND that’s it. A story from the Brain of Pacroid.

Part 2

Along the way he meets a old man who shouts,

Oldman, “Ivor Hugh G. Rection!!?”

Alex,”Pardon me?”

Oldman,”Ivor Hugh G. Rection!!?”

Alex, “You do?!”

Oldman, “Me??..no….you?”

Alex, ” I don’t….your telling me you do!”

Oldman, “I do what?”

Alex,” Have an erection”

Oldman, “You have an erection?”

Alex, “No, you do…”

Oldman, ” I don’t have an erection!!”

Alex, “you just said you did”

Oldman, “Boy, what the heck is wrong with you?! Is your name Ivor Hugh G. Rection?”

Alex,”Ohhhhhhh, …………..no”

Oldman, “ok, then….bye…..”

Part 1.

I wasn’t going to post because I had just won a bunch of great stuff just recently and didn’t want to seem greedy. But Also we can’t just have one post for a competition either. So here is something for you to chew and fill your beans until more add their stories.

Day 2

Alex is standing in front of a toilet, head down, shaking.

Alex,”OH God!!!nooo, noo, …”

(nooo, I’m not talking about his willy, that’s just plain childish. Poo is much more civilized)

No, the night before he pooped in the toilet to see if his feces would gradually rise to the surface, despite all the red meat he ate the day before.

Disappointed by his nights work he heads out the door to find answers.

On the way he runs into the store, which results in 14 stitches.

After leaving the med clinic he thinks of what could be happening to him? why him? What did he do to deserve this? So many questions shoot through his mind. All the while the the key word here is Foreskin.

end Part 1

If I found myself in Alex Mercers shoes I would be like wtf!?? These aren’t my shoes?? That thieving gypsy w~nker Alex Mercer’s from that Prototype game I haven’t played yet has gone an nicked my slippers and replaced them with some knackered old steel toecap caterpillars!

Obviously a bit p’d off I would bum-rush it to the nearest Clarks or Brantano, batter the sales assistant around the head with a stick and select myself a replacement pair of Hush Puppies. Ah hush puppies, so nice and comfy…

I then get in my Ford Capri and bomb it down to the gypsy’s caravan site. Only stopping off for a quick fried egg at Little Chef and at a secret location to pick up Monsieur Eric Cantona. Upon arrival I would announce via megaphone that Alex Mercer once appeared in a midget porn movie during which he was molested by a gaggle of bearded Danish oompa-loompa’s. I shall not reveal how I obtained this knowledge nor from whence I collected my best friend Eric from.

Eric will eject himself from the automobile amongst a plethora of flowers and sparkles and thus reveal to all in attendance that he is indeed dressed as a Ballerina. Doing his best Dawn French Impression Eric shall proclaim that he is the king of the world and commence doing the Bushwaka walk in anti-clockwise circles. No-one really understands why Eric does this, but he seems to enjoy it so we let him get on with it.

I will then enter Alex Mercer’s mum’s caravan, boot her and Jimmy Greaves (who really should know better) out of bed and demand that she tells me where Alex is and what he has done with my comfy Hush Puppies. If she does not divulge the information I shall chop off her head. Well maybe not her head, she is quite pretty, maybe just her arms, or feet, I don’t know. Her cries for help shall fall upon deaf ears as the rest of the gypsies will be outside clapping their hands and dancing to the match of the day theme tune while Eric continues with his Ballerina Bushwaka routine.

As it turns out Alex stole my Hush Puppies because he’s got a hot date with that annoying little sh_t “Orvil the duck” and he’s taken him to the Pier to watch the romantic sunset together. F_ck that! I say, no F’ing green duck is getting anywhere near my Hush Puppies! So I leave everyone at the camp and get myself to the Pier. Upon arrival I find Alex and the Duck doing the wild-thing behind the donut stall. “WTF! Is wrong with you Alex, first its little men now it luminous green talking Duck’s!”

Alex says nothing, as he removes himself and sits there looking a bit sheepish. I boot Orvil in the ass and he flies off the pier not to be seen again that night. I take my Hush Puppies back from Alex and boot him in the head too for good measure. As I start the long walk home I realize I now have 2 pairs of Hush Puppies on me, at which point I am struck by the genius idea that I can wear one pair on my feet and the other on my hands. Within a second I am trotting down the seafront on all 4’s whistling the tune to rent-a-ghost, much happier than I was earlier that day.

(flytipper kind of beat me to the punch on that one, but it;s too late to think of anything else, lol)

Same goes for you Pacroid. :)

If-a-sa a good marnin de marnin as-idwuz mar marnin, it’ll be a good marnin tamar-marnin.

Translation

IF its a good morning this morning has it was yesterday, it will be a good morning tomorrow morning as well.

As per the conversation about the UFC and MMA, does having the fighters in the game matter? If the gameplay is good?

I have to say that I am one of those guys who , “Yes” I prefer the characters over the gameplay. I know it sounds bad, but I prefer to play with characters that I know, then some tom, dick or harry that I don’t.

Also, if you could post your email, that be great. My Newfoundlander ears can’t pick up the email addresses.
Thanks. I send more info with the email.
Great show.

Look out for more competitions on the site very soon.

The morning begins when the snot on the tip of your nose starts to freeze because the wood stove has burned through the nights load. No better way to wake up than knocking frozen boogers off your Shnaze.(nose)

Then its the debate of who will empty the slop bucket(the shitter) so the rest of the crew can get on the go. So off we go to the beech to empty a bucket full of yesterdays shit and piss. It takes a few knocks to get it all out, but returning with a empty slop pail is appreciated by all.

Breakfast of course is a good fry of Cod heads rolled in flour and fried with Brinchen. (cod testicles) No Adventure can start without a good meal. But before we go, we have to take care of the dead goldfish. We can’t have them sitting around being lazy and taken up good bowl space.

So we cut them in half and bury the pieces in different places so the ghost of the gold fish don’t come back and haunt us. Now that’s done we can move along with the rest of the day.

WE head out the door with lunch in hand and a treat given to us by our grandma. Good ole grandma,homemade candy made from kerosene, molasses and lipitomen rub.(A5-35)mmmmmm.

Heading into the woods with our guns we begin the hunt. It really doesn’t take long till were face to face to the Majestic moose. Of couse the local idiot shoots and blows off one of its legs. Needless to say, he isn’t allowed to fire his gun anymore that day(wink wink)

Its always the kind hunter who takes the prey out fast. The rest of the morning is spent removing the heart and innards. Or course everything is taken except the stomach. Who wants prechewed food. bleh!!

We stop for lunch which is a nice stuffed rabbit roasted on a open fire. Of course we fight to see who gets the rabbit head. Being that the brain and tongue are the tastiest part.

Filled to the rim and stuffed down to our farks(groin). We drag the pieces of Moose back home.

Me mudder(mother) is dere waitin, can’t wait to get into dat moose, see by! I help her get the pothead started. We take the head, crack the the antlers off the head, scoop out the brains, cut out the tongue and scrap the face meat off the bone. Where did you think Potheaded meat came from, the leg?. Then it be Potlegged meat.

Tis evenin now, time fer a drink that comes from a barrel that we use it to clean the engine on our ole doz(ski-doo) and to wet the palette. Its a adventure that’s done day in and day out without any second thought of what was done.

To some this was a grand adventure, for me, it was a part of everyday life. But looking back on it now, what I wouldn’t give to relive those treasure moments.Odd has they may be to today’s folk!

Then I would take a walk in a nearby forest and meet some weird talking old tree who will tell me to save the land from some orange guy with a big nose who likes to kidnap princesses with spock ears. He’ll say I’ll need some basic household items like boomerangs, slingshots and time travelling swords to beat him so I’ll turn around to walk to Argos or Wilkinsons to get them but the tree would go NO, you need to go solve puzzles in secret locations. Like inside me, go inside me he would beg. And I would. I would go inside the tree. As deep as I can get.

After the rather odd encounter with the tree dude, I’d go to the local Greggs in Paris and would bump into Peter Moleynex. I’d ask him “what are you doing in a Greggs in Paris?” and he would say “Buying crepes for milo. He only eats Crepes. Served in a very specific way” Peter would then stuff the crepes from the French greggs into his underpants and walk away.

I would want to see Milo and Natal on this grand day out. So I stalk Peter and his crepe filled pants through the streets, making sure whenever he turns around to look behind him that I lay flat on the floor because laying down flat on stuff makes you invisible. Some guy called Snake told me that once. He used to lay down a lot, but I suspect that was because he was really old and smoked a lot so he couldn’t move much. Old smokey bastard!

I follow Peter into a building and into a room, but Peter locked the door before I could follow him in but I managed to look through the keyhole. He grabs his crepe filled crotch and begins to grunt….his voice changes and he picks up a glass of whisky with the ice tinkling inside. He puts his hands to his face and begins to pull away at the skin. Holy Jesus, this is scarier than my other Grand Day Out at Silent Hill.

He keeps pulling away at his skin, groaning and grunting going “och!” and “aye”. A lizard tongue shoots out and when I see he has full shed his Peter skin he stands there and faces the door and says “Hey Uzi man, hows you doing?”

“Hey Xib, I didn’t know you were Peter Moleneux”

We then laugh and play Street Fighter IV and eat crepes. Perfect end to my grand day out!

We’ll be giving away another code this coming Wednesday so please keep your eye on the site. And thanks to everyone who took the time to enter.

Team name: Anus

Worm 1: Infected
Worm 2: Bloody
Worm 3: Sweaty
Worm 4: Dirty

Team: The E3 Sequels

1. Worm4Dead 2 (Left4Dead 2)
2. Super Worm Galaxy 2 (Super Mario Galaxy 2)
3. Crackworm 2 (Crackdown 2)
4. Modern Wormfare 2 (Modern Warfare 2)

1. Translator Guy
2. Giant Enemy Crab
3. RIDGE RACER
4. $599 US Dollars

Worms
1 – pOOn
2 – Tang
3 – bOObies
4 – Fred

-Waggle Frenzy
-Space Marine
-Massive Damage
and, er…
-PC LOL

Yeah. <_<

It’d better cool down soon otherwise the next podcast is going to be short.

http://kotaku.com/5282349/gran-turismo-makers-try-forza-3

Might have to buy 2100 Points on the credit card…

It is cute though…oh damn, it’s happening already! Must resist pre-order…

Oops, wrong game.

Yes Xib, I am offering myself to you on a platter but no doubt you have been inundated with offers so I guess i will have to wait and see.

Let me know!

Do you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain?

email sent to xibxang@gamerdork.net.
Is this correct?

Ratso

Has Uzi gone for good then? Shame..

It’s MEEEEEE!

http://www.youtube.com/user/gamerdorkUK

http://gamerdork.yourfreeforum.com

ill set you and uzi up as mods as soon as you register, put a link to the forums on the main page, and make a small post or update for people to re register over there

Cant wait for the new episodes..

So far I’d say we were about 85% complete in the migration process. One thing I did do is take the opportunity to open a new feed with iTunes so everyone’ll need to re-subscribe once I get the details through.

As far as I know, evildearon was looking at setting us up with a free server. Hopefully he’ll give us some feedback soon.

Homeless, it’s now your job to tell everyone that we’re back. Bring us the old crowd! :)

So yeah, i thought the trophies we’re a great addition to the psn :)

great article :D

thanks for podding out my dumb assed Jump track.
keep playing the games

solitaire is the best
*Kc

At one point xib laughed so loud I thought someone was standing behind me. madness.

If you are getting a clan together you should enter the World Cyber Games. Nobody enters and they are all won by one lot of people, you can pretty much get a prize just for turning up.

“I stab people, four five people everyday.

I tried to see a shrink to stop that shit but there ain’t no fuckin’ way.

I stabbed him. Stabbed his nurse and his fuckin’ cat.

I stabbed ‘em, uhhhh!

Stabbed ‘em all like that.”–Insane Clown Posse

If you’re around for the next session, I vote we all run straight for the vengabus and start spinning around once we get inside. We’ll all die for sure, but it’ll be funny as hell.

But no working Live.* :(

*Xbox 360

You’ll join the legions of Soong, Xib and Murray. Yuck

You’ve just helped me make that decision. Now all you need is a PS3 and get rid of that Microsoft tat for good. :)

I shall guide you through my thought process:

“You know, these two are often wrong, and I find myself wondering why I spend time listening to such utter buffoons as…hey, new intro…

…Who are these new, professional and knowledgable fellows who have usurped the dorkcast mantle? I would be shocked at this, yet I cannot help but support two such blatant pimp supremes.”

Anyway, enough of my bollocks. Better go back and listen to the rest of the bugger.

Yes it was ridiculously hot! Thank god for the thunder storms.

Speaking of Batman games, I would love it if someone took Assasins Creed, re-skined altair as Batman and made a Gotham city to run/climb about in. That would be a great Batman game :)

Keep up the good work.

Still, I’ll still be hitting it when it comes out. I forgot to listen for a launch date for it. Did anyone hear one?

Good lols in both shows, like a dorky Beavis and Butthead and times.

but i am looking forward to seeing whats in store for us XD

Great podcast as usual :D

Again, apologies to everyone for the heavy breathing on my side. This is something we’re going to keep on top of going forward.

A good article Kinketsu, I agree that MGS4 really limps across the finishing line as a shooter. Some part of me wants to think that Kojima and co know this and are planning on fixing it for a later game.

It seems the Japanese aren’t as adept at crafting shooters as your average Western dev house (or maybe just less interested in doing so) but I can provide one great exception:

Resident Evil 4!

Excellent article. The more time I spend with GamerDork, the open my mind becomes to genres that previously didn’t interest me.

You’re touching on my point when you mention Holly Valance, she’s as much a human fantasy figure (for some) as you can get, and still she doesn’t come anywhere close to the DoA character she’s portraying in terms of garish oversexualisation.

I doubt Lolo could fit in the Caribbean, nevermind a boat. I’m not much of Keira fan either, never really understood why people got so excited over her.

Shake that sixaxis Xibby, shake it good!

It’s all in the eye of the beholder and with a good side-order of tongue in cheek. Even the people you mention like Holly Vallance, once draped over the pages of a magazine, are as far-removed from realism as their pixellated counterparts.

As a side note, Lolo Ferrari wold not have fitted in any of the Pirates movies, Keira Knightley sure could use some tits and I heart NG’s Rachel with a love that would split the world into 3 parts if I were to even start describing.

And now I want to shake a Sixaxxis at a local council MILF, providing someone can babysit all of her 9 kids.

Reminds me of this old classic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWnyUtdcboc

After playing Call of Duty 4 for literally a minute on my PC, he blamed his poor performance on my rather gorgeous 24″ dell monitor, which was “crap because you couldn’t see anything” and my nice trusty logitech mouse was “crap because it had buttons on the side”. I’m sure he’ll change his tune when I go to upgrade, he’ll be begging like a dog for my castoffs as usual!

Envy is indeed the ugliest of the sins in my book.

Perhaps you could talk about your all-time most anticipated games on a future podcast? General opinion in these parts seems to be GTA4, San Andreas or Halo 3. I remember other games I wanted more in the past though. Maybe I’ve just relaxed in my old age?

Ooouueeeeeennndaaaaaaaaaaaaannn!!!

It’s also to help with any sound issues we might get. The last ep had horrible echo the way through but when we were on skype live we couldn’t notice it. We want to get it right so hope you guys don’t mind too much. We’re really going to step it up a gear

I don’t have a PS3 but I would have phoned in just so your competition didn’t flop, had I been listening!

I listened at work this evening and it was a good show, enjoyed it. :)

I just bought a game through the link now on play.com and will be pre ordering MGS4 through that link too.

Basically if you ever buy ANYTHING from any of those sites, use those links :)

I will be buying a game or two within the next few months, I’ll remember to buy them through that. :)

Legend :(

Hope you guys enjoy the show. :)

A shame Pocket isn’t there, I was looking forward to more sexist comments from xib and uzi

LONO FOR PRIME MINISTER