As I’ve been told I’m the board game go-to guy for GamerDork, I thought I should write a kind of introduction to the world of gaming without electricity for anyone who’s interested in trying this type of game.

Now I’m not saying I’m a guru on all things board games related, or know the answer to every question you may have.  Sorry — I’m not, and I don’t. What I am saying is I’m the dumb git who said he would write some articles about this strange world.

So where to begin?

I could sit here and extol the virtues of sitting round a table face-to-face with your opponent as you slowly crush them and their dreams of taking you down, then, walking out the door at the end of the night with their crumpled spirit in your back pocket, accompanied by the sound of them gently sobbing in a corner.

Er………..anyway……..where was I?

Oh yes, talking about the virtues and all that kind of thing.

I won’t do that though, as there have been so many of these pieces written before. Instead, I thought I’d try and talk about the problems within the genre. I know it sounds strange, but it will make sense. I hope.

It will take some time, so go get a drink, make yourself comfortable; I’ll wait.

Sorted?

All ready?

Then I’ll begin.

Picture the scene:

Two guys sit down at a table staring at a brightly coloured box. Let’s call them “Geek N” and “Geek K.”

“You ready for this?” asks N.

“Okay, let’s do it,” says K.

With that, they open the box. Both sit back and stare, then K exclaims, “Look at all this stuff! How the hell do we use all this!?”

N smiles, hands K the encyclopaedic rule book, and says, “This is how.”

This isn’t a joke; this is actually what happened the first time I sat down to play a board game with my friend and gaming compatriot, Mr. Xibxang.

Before I began this obsession, I was only playing board games with my daughter and my partner: the usual things like Monopoly, Guess Who, Mousetrap… you know, all those kinds of things.

Then I was asked if I would like to try some board gaming.  In the past, I’d tried my hand at Dungeons and Dragons, and tried a bit of Warhammer, so I thought, why not?

I sat down at the kitchen table and what I was faced with was unlike any game I had ever seen.  It was a game called Descent: Journeys in the Dark. Take a look at it:

See? Now do you know understand what I mean when I say I was totally overwhelmed?

So here is the first of the problems I’ve encountered: the sheer expansiveness of some of these games.

Dealing with all these parts is the start of what puts people off board gaming. All those cardboard pieces have to be pushed out of large sheets and sorted into groups. Cards have to be unwrapped and sorted into their separate decks, and all the figures have to be sorted out into relevant piles.

Then you have to find lots of little bags, or buy a segmented box to keep them in. Why do that, you ask?  Well if you don’t, you’re going to spend ages sorting out all those pieces every time you want to play a game. Let’s be honest; could you really be bothered? No, I didn’t think so! Go get some bags, then.

Another problem I’ve encountered is the space needed to play a game.  I’ve found myself, at one point while playing Descent, in charge of populating and controlling the game board, as well as being in charge of the playing pieces — kind of like the banker in Monopoly, if you will. Because of the number of pieces and the size of the playing area, I found myself with a chair on either side of me for the sole purpose of placing boxes on for easy access to everything I would need throughout the game, due to the fact that the board was occupying the entire table.

The next problem you’re going to face is the rule book. This can be a colossal pain in the posterior!

Before you can start playing, you are going to have to invest a few days in reading through this. You need not only read it, but also understand, decipher, and remember it; you also need to be prepared to impart all of the basic information to whoever you manage to press-gang into joining you for a game.

At that point, your choices are either you tell them, or give them the rule book and let them read it themselves.  I wouldn’t advise this with someone new to board games, though, because let’s face facts: if someone asked you to play a game, then handed you a gigantic book and said read this, then give me a call when you’re ready to play, how quick would you be in telling them where to stick the book?

What makes it even harder to do this, in my experience, is that most rule books are badly written and leave a lot up to interpretation by the players. Some rule books even have an updated version online within days of the game being released.

It’s at this point you find out just how much the internet, and especially board game forums, are your best friends.

I have found during play that a situation often (or should that be always) arises that the rule book doesn’t have a clear rule for. At this point you basically take a vote between the players to decide how you should proceed, or as most people call it, you make a ‘House Rule;’ once you have that sorted, you can carry on with the game.

When you have finished playing, it’s on to the internet to check the board games forums to find out what everyone else is doing at the point you had the problem with.  Then you have to copy it, print it, add it to the already HUGE rule book, and inform all the other players that you were right, they were wrong, and therefore their victory doesn’t count because they basically cheated (even though they didn’t know it at the time).

To address this problem, a lot of games companies have their own forums or Q&A pages that can answer any questions for you, but it still means trawling through sites, or asking and waiting for replies. For me personally, this is the biggest problem out there.  With all the actual play testing that is done, they should be able to get the rule books into a better, more easily understandable format.

The next problem? Time! Be prepared to sink a lot of time into playing board games.  As I said, you need to put a lot of time into just understanding the basics before you start playing.

Most games come with a basic time limit that it should take to play.  Now when you’re just starting to play, expect to double that time, at least. In some cases you may not even finish a full game the first few times. What you’ll find extends the time is constantly having to refer to the rule book.  No matter how well you think you know the rules, I can guarantee you will forget, or need to check how certain things work.

“But, I’ve got a photographic memory!” you say. “Does every person around the table have one?” I reply, and “do you think I’m going to trust you when the fate of my adventurers and the chance to take you down is at stake?”

This means you pause while the rule is read out, and everyone tries to digest and interpret how it affects what they were planning on doing.

There is one more problem, and it’s the biggest and worst of them all: the addiction factor!

I’m not only talking about the time you spend on these games; it’s the bank-draining extras. With so many of these games companies bringing out expansions and add-ons, if you like a game, you will probably want all the new shiny bits to add to it.

Then you become a real geek! Like I mentioned near the start, you spend your hard-earned cash on special slip cases for your cards and new boxes to hold all those little pieces in their own separate sections.

Yes, I am that geek. Here’s my box for the Tannhauser game.

Notice the spaces? These are for some of the extra figures I will end up buying. Yes, I have thought that far ahead. Yes, I’ve already said it. I’m a geek!

As I’ve said, there is a lot of preparation before you even get to the playing of a game. But if you and a group of friends or family are prepared to sink the time into the preparation, then what you will find is a truly absorbing world of gaming.

Of course, the games I’m talking about here are more of the large-scale sprawling games, and there are small quick-play ones available. However, the basic principals and pitfalls are the same no matter which type you play.

The styles and genres of games available are immense. If you have a particular favourite style of movie, book or video game, I can guarantee there is a board game about it. There are large- and small-scale games, card games, and dice games; it’s almost limitless. I’m sure there’s one out there that’s perfect for you. The only problem is finding it, but I think you will have a fun journey while you search for the one.

I hope that after reading this piece, you will still give board games a try. The pitfalls and problems I’ve detailed above are far outweighed by the fun you can have when a group of you get round a table with a game you love.

If you do want to follow me down the rabbit hole, a great source of information on almost every board game out there is http://boardgamegeek.com/ If you try a game and get stuck, the forums over there are a great and friendly source of help.